Deal you in?

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“Son, no matter how far you travel, or how smart you get, always remember this: someday, somewhere, a guy is going to come to you and show you a deck of cards on which the seal has never been broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that the Jack of Spades will jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet him, for as sure as you do, you are going to get an earful of cider.”

Damon Runyon The Idyill of Miss Sarah Brown